“Give your inner critic the day off.” My refrigerator instructs me to lighten up every morning during my divorce recovery.
You’ve told the world about your divorce. Now, the inspirational messages and books begin arriving from your friends. Their literature doesn’t resonate? That’s not surprising. The words that moved your buddy during his divorce recovery may completely miss the mark for you. Your soul alone knows what unique “you-can-do-it” message plays well in your head. Your job is to be on the alert for them and mount them where you’ll pay attention. The fridge wins, hands down.
Yesterday I was watching the movie Founder. It’s the story of Ray Kroc’s rise, building the biggest restaurant empire in the world – McDonald’s. At one point, I said right out loud, “I have to write that down!” Ever done that? Inspirational messages can jump out at us at a soul level at any moment. When it happens, write it down. It might become the mantra that gets you through your divorce. My quote from Founder: “Being sad isn’t going to change the future.”
In my house, I can’t get milk for cereal without seeing those poems, sayings, and thoughts that break up my pity party. If the fridge isn’t your spot for motivational wisdom, find one. The bathroom mirror? Your side door? In your car? Grab some sticky notes and put them someplace where they’ll shift your thinking.
During your divorce recovery, you need cheerleading, humor, and wisdom. Here are my top 10 snippets of wisdom, from my fridge. Each one evokes head nodding, makes me laugh, or rattles my cage. Copy them if they speak to you, and let this be a jumping off place to find your own collection of inspirational messages.
1. “Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
2. “Whether you think can, or think you can’t – you’re right.” – Henry Ford
3. “Sometimes ‘right back where you started from’ is right where you belong.” – From a greeting card, Curly Girl Designs
4. “Now is the right time.” – On a magnet, from Lotus Sutra.
5. “To change one’s life, start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.” – William James
6. “I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.” – On a magnet, no source cited.
7. “Dear Sir: I am a married woman and I’m fed up with being stuck at home. I’m wondering if you could help me as I am thinking of starting to breed with my poodle.” (This has nothing to do with divorce, but it never fails to make me laugh. It’s from Anguished English by Richard Lederer, where he has assembled some of the funniest miscommunications you will ever read!)
8. “Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.” – On a magnet, no source cited.
9. “Give your inner critic the day off.” – From a greeting card, Bean Up the Nose Art.
10. “Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” – From a magnet quoting Gilda Radner.
Especially during divorce and divorce recovery, listening to the language that speaks to your soul is critical. Your brain believes everything you tell it. Go ahead and give yourself the gift of wisdom – in a language you understand. What are you telling yourself on your fridge?